Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Love Hurts and You Don't Know Why: When Loving Hurts And You Don't Know Why

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Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Love Hurts and You Don't Know Why: When Loving Hurts And You Don't Know Why

Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Love Hurts and You Don't Know Why: When Loving Hurts And You Don't Know Why

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Imagine a world in which the hatred of women is actively encouraged, with sprawling, purpose-built communities of men dedicated to fuelling and inflaming the cause. It didn’t seem fair that people were complaining about women’s needs when his lot in life, as a supposedly ‘privileged’ white guy, didn’t seem so splendid. I wanted to lay bare the reality of a hate movement, the very existence of which we have completely failed to acknowledge, and ask: what is attracting boys and men to this ideology?

Ideas are spread from the darkest corners of the internet - via trolls, media and celebrities - to schools, workplaces and the corridors of power, becoming a part of our collective consciousness. The misogynist is usually not a batterer, but use psychological and verbal forms of control and abuse. So, over the period of a year, I immersed myself in these communities to find out how all of this is happening, and to expose a powerful, hate-fuelled force that is currently underestimated by the few who know about it, while remaining invisible to everybody else altogether. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the voices of men ad women trapped in these relationships to help you understand you man's destructive pattern, the part you play in it, how to break the pattern, heal the hurt, regain your self-respect, and either rebuild your relationship or find the courage to love a truly loving man.Many misogynists use bullying and macho behavior toward women to defend against these unacceptable feelings of vulnerability.

The messages we receive as children become the core information we use about ourselves and our position in the world for the rest of our lives. If the messages the child gets about herself are primarily positive, her self-image will be healthy. The Guardian wrote "For this brilliantly fierce and eye-opening book, Bates has descended into the vast underworld sewage system of online misogyny, and brought back a persuasive and alarming thesis.

But that’s not surprising really, because I made him up, although there are countless real people like Alex online. When he grows up, he can come to view women as malevolent being out to rob him of his independence and masculinity. If she is in a bad mood or displays any behavior that he doesn't like, he views it as a sign of her deficiency. The unspoken agreement, which comes from our deepseated needs and fears, is far more powerful and binding.

Coming from a patriarchal society, there are so many misogenist around here that it is easy to assume that it's just the way men are. He enters into a relationship with a woman very much as a hungry, demanding infant does, with the unspoken expectation that she will be totally giving and will meet all his needs. In Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How It Affects Us All, journalist Laura Bates investigates the online communities whose ideology centers around having power and control over women, how these affect society, and what can be done to change it moving forward. This is how change is made: by looking at uncomfortable things directly in the eye and not turning away. For nearly a decade, men have sent me daily messages, often in their hundreds, outlining their hatred of me, fantasising about my brutal rape and murder, detailing which weapons they would use to slice my body open and disembowel me, describing me as a dripping poison, sketching visions of lying in wait outside my home, letting me know which particular serial killers they’d particularly like to emulate as they end my life.Its symptoms are aggressive – mental and physical abuse characterised by shouting, screaming, extreme jealousy and possessiveness, and insistence on financial and organisational authority.

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